{"id":45,"date":"2011-07-19T09:41:42","date_gmt":"2011-07-19T13:41:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/churchoflaughter.com\/?p=45"},"modified":"2011-07-19T10:03:04","modified_gmt":"2011-07-19T14:03:04","slug":"the-candy-factory","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/churchoflaughter.com\/?p=45","title":{"rendered":"The Candy Factory"},"content":{"rendered":"<pre>I\u2019d like a\r\nmilk chocolate\r\nLawyer Bar\r\nplease\r\n\r\nand I want a peppermint\r\nDoctor Stick\r\nplease\r\n\r\nAnd an\r\nAccountant Cluster\r\nfor Stevie\r\nplease\r\n\r\n\u201cAnd what would you like, Timmy?\u201d\r\n\r\nI would like a\r\nBusinessman Bar\r\nwithout almonds\r\nplease\r\n\r\nAnd an actress\u2019s day\r\nDream Mint\r\nfor Jenny\r\nplease\r\n\r\nand a two scoop\r\nVanilla A Frame\r\nwith four children\r\nand a dog\r\nplease\r\n\r\nAnd a taffy condominium\r\nfor Peter\r\nwith a chocolate covered wife\r\nand mint golf clubs\r\nfor the weekend\r\nplease\r\n\r\nAnd Joey wants a\r\nChocolate Sunday\r\nwith more nuts\r\nthan Daddy\u2019s\r\nplease\r\nAnd could you make mine\r\nthree scoops\r\n\u2018cause the Jones\u2019\r\nalready have two\r\nplease\r\n\r\n\u201cAnd\r\nwhat do you want to be\r\nwhen you grow up, Susan?\u201d\r\n\r\nWhen I grow up\r\nI would like\r\nto be\r\nme\r\nplease\r\nwithout almonds.<\/pre>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019d like a milk chocolate Lawyer Bar please and I want a peppermint Doctor Stick please And an Accountant Cluster for Stevie please \u201cAnd what would you like, Timmy?\u201d I would like a Businessman Bar without almonds please And an &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/churchoflaughter.com\/?p=45\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-45","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-musings"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/churchoflaughter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/churchoflaughter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/churchoflaughter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/churchoflaughter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/churchoflaughter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=45"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/churchoflaughter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":60,"href":"https:\/\/churchoflaughter.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/45\/revisions\/60"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/churchoflaughter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=45"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/churchoflaughter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=45"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/churchoflaughter.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=45"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}